SOHL RE-SIGNING SEASON: BEST WAYS TO WIN NEGOTIATIONS WITH YOUR DASTARDLY AGENT
No. 1: Threaten to release the compromising photos you got of your agent after you created a fake GM who infiltrated the league, cozied up to the BOG and asked for nudes.
No. 2: Complain to the other agents about the nonsensical demands and overall stubbornness of Mike Clark. Pacific demands an agent shift.
No. 3: Be Jhett Folk or The Waggonnater.
No. 4: Have lots and lots of money from making the playoffs all the time. That's right, tanking's bad, mmkay?
No. 5: Research and write a comprehensible presentation that packages comparable player ratings and league signing trends over the past three seasons, including charts and graphs, to make a case for why the player who has been with you for one season should sign at a 50% discount.
No. 6: Cash money bribes (not currently used enough).
No. 7: Be an agent yourself to negotiate with another agent and cut deals for each other's teams (currently used too much).
All teams in the league have been filled. While we hope all the current GMs stay with us for a long time to come, I am more than happy to start a waiting list. Have any friends interested in fantasy hockey? Tell them to send me an email and we'll get them a team as soon as we can. If you are interested in joining our league, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.